Coming Full Circle

A Selected List of Books for Children
About Death & Dying
compiled by Carolyn Schuler, Consultant Services

In very direct terms, this title explains what it means to die. It also talks about the different ways a person dies, explains what different people believe happens after death, and what may be done to remember someone who has died. The author accomplishes all of this without bias or condescension and uses language that is simple for a child to comprehend. The book includes a glossary to define all the new words associated with death. (Ages 4-8)

Two young boys are saddened when Bosco, the old fire watchman on Call Back Mountain, dies. They are comforted with familiar sounds and sights of the area as they realize that people who love the land will always return to it. (Ages 4-8)

Even after Mis' Lela dies, Sugar Plum, a reflective African-American preschooler, remembers her elderly caregiver and the advice she gave the children who walked past her house on their way to school. This evocative picture book about the ordinary qualities of life and death paints a picture of a distinct time and place that is both real and remembered. (Ages 4-8)

When his dog Muffins dies, first grader Jim receives sympathy from his saddened classmates but is inconsolable until his friend, Paul, thinks of a way that Jim can remember his pet with laughter and tears. (Ages 4-8)

The changing nature of their apple tree reminds Leigh and Vin of Grandad, who is gone but lives on in their memories. This is a gentle, reassuring book for one-on-one sharing. (Ages 4-8)

The usual questions are asked and answered in this solid entry in the field of titles that deal with the death of a pet. An epilogue offers suggestions for coping with this situation. (Ages 3-7)

This is the simple story of a child's honest and unadulterated love for an uncle who teaches him to tend a garden. Even in the uncle's illness and death the family finds joy, beauty, hope and celebration of all that endures in the human soul. The text is straightforward yet sensitive, and the overall feeling of love and renewed life in nature enhances the poignant, positive message. (Ages 4-8)

Beautifully written and illustrated, this lyrical picture book explores themes of childhood, remembrance, and the special relationship between grandparent and child. Amidst the profusion of picture books that explore children's responses to death, it is rare to find such a clear reminder that grief can be expressed in joyful ways, too. (Ages 4-6)

Hanson's poetry and the beautiful illustrations combine to make an experience in spirituality for any one, no matter what age. Often used at funerals, these words of hope and inspiration, written to help an adult explain death to a child, give voice to that which one cannot speak in times of intense and overwhelming grief. (Ages 4-7)

Beloved great-uncle, Tio Armando, is a unique person, visiting strangers in the hospital and spreading kindness wherever he goes. This usually well crafted picture book featuring a Mexican-American family, gracefully chronicles the last year in his life, as relayed month by month in the first-person narration of his niece, Lucitita. (5-8)

Alfie thinks that a party may be just the ticket to cheer up his neighbor, Mr. MacNally, after he loses his beloved old cat. Preschoolers will appreciate the honest talk about the death of a pet and they will love the story of the secret and the surprise. (Ages 2-5)

The text is only a handful of words, but they work well with the art in this picture book that explores the difficult subject of the death of a loved one and a family's ensuing grief. Young readers may find it too abstract for pursuing alone. But with the aid of an imaginative adult, this book may spark comforting discussion. (Ages 4-7)

Ada, a black mop-like dog, grieves for her friend Tombstone, an energetic canine who got sick and died. Only their owner can find a way to cure Ada's heart. This heartwarmer is an especially nice book for parents to share with children who have lost a much-loved pet. (Ages 4-6)

Loaded with positive, life-affirming advice for coping with loss as a child, this guide tells children what they need to know after a loss–that the world is still safe; life is good; and hurting hearts do mend. While assuming the concept of life after death, this book is sensitive to differences in religious belief and practices and provides opportunities for the young reader to think, to ask questions, and to grow. (Ages 4-8+)

In this useful book from the First Experience series, the easy-going star of Mister Rogers' Neighborhood helps children share feelings of the loss of a pet while offering reassurance that grieving is a natural, healing thing to do. A sensitive and sensible first book about death. (Ages 4-8)

A mature and touching story of loss, love and remembrance follows Sarah, a nine-year-old girl, as she comes to terms with the death of her beloved grandfather, Abe. Quiet, realistic illustrations that focus on the gifts of himself that Abe gives to Sarah celebrate the special connection between a grandparent and a child. (Ages 3-7)

When Granny moves into Molly and Will's house, she is accompanied by Vivi, an animated canary who starts out as the glue in their relationship. When Vivi dies, Granny teaches the children to cope with his loss. When Granny later dies, Molly and Will discover her memory book full of pictures and stories of their shared moments with Vivi. A poignant look at aging and death. (Ages 4-7)

A young girl decides to make a very special pillow for her mother who is extremely uncomfortable during her last days in the hospital. Sgouros addresses the certainly of loss, the easing of sadness, and living with pain in this poignant and tender story about this youngster as she deals with the loss of her mother. (Ages 4-8)

Produced from actual questions asked by her own daughter after the death of the child's great-grandmother, Shriver attempts to explain death to children and help them understand the loss of a loved one. This is for families of all faiths and works as a starting point for parents and caregivers who must address this difficult experience. However, some adults may not agree with all religious aspects of her interpretation and should review the book ahead of time before using it one-on-one with a child. (Ages 4-8, Work with Children)

This concept book features a six-year-old dealing with the recent death of her mother. Because her mom's death causes Charlotte to feel sad, angry, mad, and scared in varying degrees, she and her dad visit a therapist who helps them acknowledge and express their feelings in a healthy manner. The description of play therapy techniques will reassure parents and children dealing with similar situations. (Ages 5-7)

In mourning for his cat, Crabmeat, eight-year-old Bimmi finds a stray cat that he names Kitty-Louise. He soon realizes that she is not a stray and belongs to someone else on Galveston Island, and that he must find her rightful owner. (Ages 5-8)

Granddaughter knows that her beloved Old Pig will soon be gone–but her love and memories will still be there. Wild manages to mix the every day with a beauty that transcends chores and meals in this tender, softly illustrated story of love and loss that will comfort children dealing with death for the first time. (Ages 3-7)

When Pearl arrives home from school one day, her mother is waiting to tell her that Grandpa has died. Pearl discovers a way to keep her grandfather's memory alive–by bringing life to marigolds, as he did every year. This book centers on the Jewish tradition of sitting shiva. The story is followed by a brief discussion of rituals surrounding death in the major world religions. (Ages 4-8)

When a young boy finds his old dog dead one morning, he spends the rest of the day thinking about all the good times they had together. Children who have to deal with the death of a pet will want to hear this story. They will be able to relate to the boy not being able to understand where his dog has gone. (Ages 4-7)

Books for the Intermediate Reader

Books in this section are a little more advanced than picture books and would be suitable for newly independent readers and those who are comfortable with easy, episodic chapter books that are simple in plot and character development.

When Luz's beloved grandfather dies, she places luminaria around his grave on Christmas Eve as a way of remembering him. Spare and sturdy in both its art and text, this touching sequel to The Farolitos of Christmas will help readers of many ages face a first holiday without a loved one. (Ages 5-9)

Marcelina's father returns home from a trip to Manila with beautiful hand-made sleeping mats for each member of his large family, including the three daughters who died when they were very young. This tender, bittersweet story is a good choice for talking about remembering people who have died or about family life in other cultures. (Ages 5-9)

Lauren narrates this gentle-hearted and moving story of a family gathered together to make a panel for a memorial quilt in honor of her Uncle Ron. (Ages 7-9)

This evocative tale is about a young boy who grieves the loss of his best friend and thinks about how things would be if he were still alive. But the story is not just about grief and what may have been. It is about the joys of friendship, finding another friend–not someone to replace Nathan, but someone to ease the pain and to fill the gap, however temporary. Best read in the company of a supportive adult, this affecting story is a solid choice for children mourning the loss of a peer. (Ages 5-9)

As his family reminisces after his beloved grandfather's death, a boy realizes that his grandfather is still with him in all the special places they shared. This is a useful springboard for dialogue between bereaved adults and children. (Ages 6 and up)

In a warm, subtle text, a young girl shares her ballet dancing with her dying grandmother, Babci, and in return, the grandmother shares her memories of her family's immigration from Poland and of dancing with the girl's grandfather. In this enchanting, life-affirming story, Bartoletti captures the spirit of love and caring across generations and the temperament of people who keep dancing through the hard periods of their lives. (Ages 7-10)

In this first-person picture book a young girl tells about Mrs. Kempczinski, third-grade teacher extraordinaire. All of the students are deeply affected when, after her absence of several weeks, the principal announces that she is hospitalized with cancer. This absorbing picture book captures an unusual classroom experience with honesty and subtlety and approaches a dark subject with integrity and buoyancy of spirit. In real life this fact-based story did not end so happily. The book is dedicated to Mrs. K's memory (Ages 5-10)

When a sick boy dies, his friends and classmates honor him by building a schoolyard pond in his memory. This is a gentle story of friendship, loss, and hope that shows the comfort found in the support of family and friends as well as in remembering. (Ages 6-8)

Swan falls in love with a lovely swan-shaped boat and, despite the admonitions and ridicule of the other swans and fish that she is “different,” his love never wavers. The book's esoteric message may limit its use. However, for those who are comfortable with this simple, examination of love and loss, it is an acceptable, albeit unconventional, introduction to a discussion of death and dying without challenging religious beliefs. (Ages 7-10)

Carrick sensitively explores the pain of a parent's death through the eyes, feelings and voice of a nine-year-old boy whose world turns upside down when his father becomes terminally ill with cancer. Through a fictional reminiscence, the story explores many of the issues common to children whose parents are ill. This well-observed story provides a mirror for those coping with grief and will also aid those who wish to understand and empathize with a friend. (Ages 7-10)

A boy's heritage from his dying grandfather, who protects the alligators of their Louisiana swamp from the poachers, is the knowledge of the ways of the swamp and how it should be kept undamaged. This poignant coming-of-age story is an excellent depiction of an intergenerational relationship tinged with sadness for the loss to come. An epilogue offers interesting facts on both alligators and swamps. (Ages 7-10)

Unhappy after Grandma's death, Grandpa finally decides to re-create the soup she used to make. With each try, he remembers another ingredient, and every day he shares his soup with an increasing number of guests. After a while the old man gradually realizes that making the soup that Grandma used to cook and sharing it with friends eases his loneliness. This gentle lesson on coping with grief is applicable to any culture or circumstance. (Ages 6-9)

In this picture book by noted poet Kaplan, music proves both painful and comforting for a boy and his father after the death of the boy's mother. The story is unabashedly sentimental, but rich in graceful metaphors and imagery. It will be appreciated for its solemn but straightforward presentation of a father and son coming to terms with grief. (Ages 5-9)

A GIFT FOR ABUELITA: CELEBRATING THE DAY OF THE DEAD/ UN REGALO PARA ABUELITA

This bilingual picture book provides a look at a special day celebrated in many Mexican-American communities. After her dear grandmother dies, Rosita hopes to be reunited with Abuelita as she prepares a gift to give to her when her family celebrates the “Day of the Dead.” Luenn offers a lovingly told story about a child's grappling with death and the redemptive quality of rituals and memories. (Ages 7-10)

An entire family mourns the death of Charlee (feminine for Charlie) when the dog needs to be euthanized because of a heart failure. They set aside a special time to sit in the backyard and remember their loyal companion and plant a flowering bush near Charlee's favorite backyard spot. Sound advice and suggestions for coping are carefully incorporated into this sincere tribute to both pet and the environment. (Ages 6-9)

Prompted by Louise, her new caregiver, a young girl remembers special moments with Mama and starts to feel better after grieving over her death. The central image of hope is the moon, which lights the way for the daughter reintegrating her mother in her life. The author offers no solutions to loss; rather she paints an honest portrait of one girl's grief that should resonate with children who have themselves experiences the death of a parent. (Ages 5-8)

Following the death of her older brother, Rob, young Lena and her parents attempt to lessen their grief and move on with their lives by going on an overnight crabbing expedition. Although they do not complete the grieving process by the end of the story, they have progressed to the point in finding comfort in remembering and in sharing memories with each other. This entry should be helpful to families in need of its message. (Ages 6-10)

This solid entry in the “Let's Talk” library provides advice on surviving the death of a parent and suggests what feelings and behavior to expect from others. It will be used best in a one-on-one situation with a parent or caregiver and child and can be picked up or set down at any number of intervals to allow the dialogue to be absorbed by all parties. (Ages 6-10)

A boy walks with his grandfather who is his best friend and learns the prayers of the earth. When the grandfather dies, the narrator finds it impossible to pray anymore. Wood tackles the enormity of death and the meaning of prayer in a way that is both quietly accessible and meaningful as he gives voice to the human longing to understand. His depiction of spiritual concepts is without reference to a particular faith or tradition.

Books for the Older Reader

The following titles will appeal to those who are solid, independent readers yet still need the reassurance of an uplifting message to validate and secure their own feelings and reactions.

Jessica refuses to believe that her “big, blond, teddy bear father” could have been hit by a car while jogging and will never return. Adler masterfully captures Jessica's grief and denial, treats it truthfully, and releases it with a level of solace that she can bear.

In this passionate, sensitive and true story, a young girl struggles to come to terms with a traumatic family situation. This sober narration reveals the private voice of a girl as she copes with the aftermath of a car accident: her mother's death, the injuries of her father and sister, and her own grief, anger, and fear of the future. (Ages 9-12)

Eleven-year-old Cliff describes a year of excitement, conflict, and sudden tragedy experienced by his large and boisterous family. It was a bittersweet time. There were good times, but there were also events that he would like to forget–among them, the death of one brother, an episode that will move readers to tears. (Ages 9-12)

Following her mother's death in the early 1900's, thirteen-year-old “Harry” lives on Aunt Sarah's farm where an accident with her spirited colt leaves her a changed young woman. Haas, the author of Fire, an exquisite story of loss of another kind, has a gift for description and graceful simile. Her sharply drawn characters and the delightful prose are the driving forces in this heartfelt story of a battle of wills and triumph in a family. (Ages 9-12)

After the death of his grandmother, ten-year-old Spoon observes the changes in his grandfather and tries to find the perfect artifact to preserve his memories of her. Every child who has lost a beloved relative will recognize the immensity of this ordinary experience. (Ages 9-12)

Twelve-year-old Luke's summertime adventures along the river are haunted by the memory of his older brother, Robert, who died being a daredevil in the same place a year and a half earlier. The writing is not elegant, and the plot is somewhat predictable, but it will appeal to those readers on the lower end of the target audience who crave excitement and still expect gratifying endings. (Ages 8-11)

In this bittersweet and heart-wrenching tale, thirteen-year-old Phoebe recalls her younger brother, Mick, who was killed in a bike accident. The story is sad to the point of melancholy as Phoebe aimlessly wanders into Mick's room, untouched since the accident, yet funny in its remembrance of the wonderful times that the siblings shared. Told in a wry, very moving manner, this poignant story will make readers laugh more than cry. (Ages 8-12)

In “conversations” with her dead mother, fifth-grader Livvy records her adjustment to living in Baltimore with Jesse Barnes, a woman she has never met. Livvy comes to see the wisdom of her mother's choice as she gets to know the woman's large, loving family and interacts with a marvelous cast of supportive friends and neighbors. While this moving novel addresses the pain and hurt that a child experiences immediately following the death of a parent, it also offers hope for survival and a return to normalcy. (Ages 8-12)

After her mother dies, Julie gives up her childhood to run the MacNeil household. Although she occasionally feels burdened with the responsibility, she is too afraid to let go. When her father begins to date the mother of her arch rival for the soccer team's coveted position of goalie, she finds herself doubly challenged. Shreve does an admirable job capturing Julie's mixed-up feelings about a replacement mom. Readers in the same boat will be able to relate. (Ages 9-12)

When a supernatural presence begins doing favors for Kelly and her younger sister Sasha, they realize that the ghost of their dead father has returned to watch over them, just as they wished. This light-hearted and occasionally bittersweet story effectively explores a grieving family's attempt to deal with life after a tragic death. (Ages 10-12)

Brown-skinned, green-eyed Kayla uses her dancing to help deal with her plight when her grandmother's death brings about the necessity for her to leave her close-knit farming community in South Carolina to live with inner-city Chicago relatives. The uncertainties of adjusting to a new family in an urban environment, coupled with some random incidents of violence and racism, help Kayla realize that she is still very rich in family and self. (Ages 10-12)

A developing friendship with an elderly holocaust survivor helps to ease the pain of a twelve-year-old girl's pain following the death of her teenage brother in a tragic car accident two years previous. By drawing parallels with stories of the Holocaust that Herta shares with her, Natty slowly begins to come to terms with her grief. She finds deeper understanding of the impact of her brother's death on their parents and is also able to rekindle her friendship with Zheng, whose older brother survived the crash. (Ages 9-12)

In this award winning book from Japan, Kiyama and his friends, Kawabe and Yamashita, become fascinated about death after Yamashita's grandmother dies. As they watch an old man who does not seem to have much time left on earth, their morbid curiosity develops into friendship and caring. When their elderly friend does die, only heart-felt grief and love are expressed. (Ages 9-12)

These titles were selected for readers, ages 10-14, who are able to read more advanced books than those in the previous section. The reading levels test within the sixth and seventh grade readability and interest range, but the conclusions of the stories are more realistic in nature. They address deeper emotions involved in loss due to death.

This brief, but powerful novel is about a girl whose mother is dying of cancer. Told through journal entries, narration, and flashbacks, Mindy relates the course of her mother's illness—from the numbing diagnosis to her eventual passing. Abelove has written a hopeful story with memorable characters and a lyrical text that will touch children of all ages who face the impending death of a parent. (Ages 10-14)

Thirteen-year-old Kit goes to live with his grandfather in the decaying coal mining town of Stoneygate, England. There he finds both the old man and the town haunted by ghosts of miners who have worked the land in the past. While this long book is complex, it does offer some excellent meditations about death and the healing power of love will strike children in unsuspected ways. (Ages 10-13)

After Baby dies, Little Sister stops talking. She and Willa Jo are taken to live with their million-rules Aunt Patty who seems to have forgotten that they too, in addition to their depressed mother, are trying to cope with losing Baby. The novel, which takes place in just one day, captures the pervasive feelings that can take hold when tragedy strikes and the healing feelings of release that come when one can finally get near to the source. (Ages 11-13

This compilation of stories that express the creative survival among bereaved children and teenagers is an excellent example of what it takes to regain healthy feelings after the loss of a loved one. At once funny and profound, this anthology of anger, frustration, sincerity, and remembrances of many kinds is illustrated with the children's own artwork. (Ages 8-14)

Six months after the death of his girlfriend, Rosey, Franklin can not–and will not—stop living in the past. Only memories of her, where she is still with him, offer relief from his grief and pain. This part love story, part ghost story offers a realistic portrayal of heartbreak and loss as experienced by a young man. (Ages 11-14)

With her mother dead and her father an alcoholic who disappears for days at a time, Gabrielle must assume responsibility for her younger brother, Will, and herself. She is barely able to make ends meet, yet afraid to put her trust in anyone. Gabby ultimately discovers her own voice and worth when she finally understands what her mother once meant when she said to “cheat the moon.” At once sobering and inspirational, sorrowful and hopeful. (Ages 10-14)

When Lucy labels Rafaella “Earwig” on her first day of school, all of the other girls at middle school follow suit. Lucy, who regretted her label as soon as it was spoken, secretly befriends Rafaella and gradually gets to know her and her “foreign” family. Unbeknownst to Lucy, Rafaella enters the hospital for cosmetic surgery on her large protruding ears. However, plans go awry when complications from a previously undetected heart defect arise, and Rafaella dies. Lucy realizes that this tragic death could have been prevented if only she had had the courage to stand up for her friend. (Ages 11-14)

After four years, Carrie can still not bear to face her confused feelings about her mother's death from cancer, especially with her friends who are loud about their dislike for their own mothers. With the help of Mona, who offers to teach her about lucid dreaming, she is able to release whatever it is that strangleholds her feelings and accept the fact that her mother no longer exists. While mostly a unique tale about teenage girls, it will provide a good material for those who need to talk about the death of a parent. (Ages 10-14)

After her mother's death and her father's suicide, fourteen-year-old Teddi finds some stability when she moves in with Mamie, her good hearted next door neighbor. A great deal of healing takes place until the arrival of a woman claiming to be the pregnant wife of Mamie's son who recently died in a plane crash. (Ages 10-14)

Since her mother's death in a bus accident a few months earlier, Sammy has not been able to bring herself to talk about her mother or her grief. She spends her free time digging in her neighbor's yard, hoping to find something that can magically restore her mother's spirit. In the hopeful conclusion, Sammy discovers that you do not need magic to bring back “the ones that are lost”—that their love has been there all along. (Ages 10-13)

According to the author, when most people die they go to a place of Perfect Happiness called Heaven. However, undecided souls, who are not sure or not ready to go there, find themselves in a place known as Heavenly Village. This provocative tale will encourage readers to think about the subjects Rylant raises and may provide some answers to all of those unknowns associated with death. This is a special book, probably not for everyone, but those who stick with it will find it moving and meaningful. (Ages 11-14)

Books for Parents and Caregivers

Although strictly a book for adults, readers will find the section for handling death with children invaluable. The authors provide frank conversations about dealing with loss realistically and even discuss special challenges of remarrying and step-parenting grieving children. Tips for school personnel, guidance for health care providers, and a suggested age-appropriate reading list are included. First rate. (Adult)

This book for families who have experienced death is reader-friendly and gives needed information to those who work with grieving children. Basic and simple, the authors, founders of the Centering Corporation, a non-profit bereavement resource center, review discuss a parent really needs to know and reviews how children respond to grief from infancy to the teenage years. (Adult)

Sensitive exercises help caregivers and parents address the questions and fears that kids may have during the emotional and often troubling event such as death. Part art therapy, part activity book, this educational tool is just the ticket for helping kids cope when that special person in their lives dies. (Adult)

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